The No-English Hunter
Probably named something with characters not found on your keyboard, making whispers an exhilarating exercise in looking up ASCII tables. Speaks not a word, unless another player who speaks his language happens to be in your party. Does strange and inexplicable things, then meets questions with stony silence.
The Stoned Rogue
Probably named Budsmoker, Croniklol, or Fourtwenty. He speaks of nothing but getting high, and frequently AFKs for that purpose. Makes you wonder if science is wrong about marijuana's chemical addictiveness. Generally competent, though spacey. Often a member of a hardcore guild.
The Pretty Pretty Paladin Princess
Probably named Arwenna, Ladrina, or anything that sounds likely to have been stolen from Tolkien. Rolled a Blood Elf Paladin because they're pretty. Has put a similar amount of thought into the quality of their play. Is, or claims to be, female. May also be a Priest, but is most certainly a Blood Elf.
The PvP Druid
Probably named Shifftz, Hotznrunz, or anything having to do with Druids. Can't keep a tank alive to save his (or anyone else's) life. Never dies himself, though. Shifts to bear when he gets aggro, regardless of the state of the tank's HP bar.
The Epeening Warlock
Probably named Fearlol, Dottastic, or Darkgnomey. Destruction spec. Frequently mentions that he crits for 6k with Shadowbolt. Is blissfully unaware that 1200 spell damage is a lot more for a Mage than for a Warlock, and assumes that he's better than said Mages. Believes that the strength of Warlocks in end-game translates directly into his own personal awesomeness. Regularly asserts that Destruction only works if one has incredibly good gear; does not have incredibly good gear.
The PvP Warrior
Probably named Thewarrior, Smashyou, or Big-somethingz. Does not spec Protection, Fury, or even PvE Arms. Still wants to raid with you, probably because Dory's Embrace costs badges. Sometimes beats the tanks in DPS. Breaks CC every time the Whirlwind cooldown comes up. Uses charge/intercept to enter combat.
The Shaman in Denial
Probably named something with the word "shock" in it. Enhancement spec, dual-wielding Season 1 axes. Sits in Looking for Group for hours while people spam "LF1M healer and gtg." Complains that he can't get raid spots because raids only take one or two Enhancement Shamans. Refuses to respec to the most overpowered healing spec in the game. Doesn't understand why people keep suggesting it.
Is my list missing anyone?
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6 comments:
LOL! Hilarious. Clearly I need to score some dope if I want to play my rogue properly.
Haha.
... I think I know the warrior. -smirk-
Good stuff.
The mage, probably named something like gnomeaggedon, who forgets his sheep and pulls aggro just to use iceblock... ohh hang on, that's not me....
Although once on Attuman, I heard someone say "Let's see who can pull aggro". Attuman was a 5% health, and I though.. I bet I can.. and did.
Turned out my mates where saying I bet some noob will pull aggro... damn it sounded like a competition.. and I won.. but there was no prize apart from ribbing...
oh yes I know these people!
What about the drama queen priest? Usually someone's girlfriend, more interested in guild politics than guild raids, has a well defined list of people she likes, and people she hates.
the boyfriend isn't allowed to group with the people she hates of course.
i know 2.5 of those. the pvp druid, the epeen warlock, and the shaman in denial.
the shaman, for me, is the .5, because while he will be willing to heal, he is clearly not geared or specced to its full potential. otherwise, i lose out to him on kara dps on a regular basis. he is just so pwnage that way.
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